


How You Get The Girl

by Peachykeehn



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 14:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2550134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachykeehn/pseuds/Peachykeehn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“<3 Carmilla, I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.” </p>
<p>That’s the sight that Carmilla was greeted with as she got back from her afternoon seminar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How You Get The Girl

“<3 Carmilla, I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.” 

That’s the sight that Carmilla was greeted with as she got back from her afternoon seminar. It was scribbled out on a bright pink sticky note stuck to the door.

She reread, just to make sure, but the words formed the exact same way as the last time. It was a joke. Some asinine frosh left this here, too caught up in their own hormonal rutting to understand that this was not a smart plan. She tore it down, stormed into her room, and threw it into the trash, only not burning it because of a weird nonverbal pact that she’d formed with her roommate.

A few days later, another appears on her front door. “<3 There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place”. Carmilla stares at it for a solid minute before tearing it off and throwing it in the garbage. Someone obviously had no idea that she was not a good target for their affections.

“<3 I heard you are what you eat. So I could be you by morning.” This was getting ridiculous.

“<3 Are you the Gulf of Mexico? Because I want to drill you and make a big mess.” Now that was just in bad taste.

“<3 That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.” Okay THAT one had some potential.

After a week of coming home to the ridiculous lines Carmilla started to feel lees irritated and more amused at the sight of the little slip that showed up like clockwork. She had to hand it to her anonymous admirer, they were nothing if not persistent. 

“<3 Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore, my face should be among them.” Maybe these were starting to get slightly more clever.

Five days and three notes later, Carmilla trudged down the hall, irritated about having walked all the way across campus only to learn class was cancelled. All thoughts of irritation stopped as she turned the corner to see Laura standing in front of their door, carefully placing a sticky note at eye level. A smirk slowly forms across her face as the realization of who the failed pick-up artist was hits her. 

She clears her throat and the other girl practically jumped through the ceiling. She quickly yanked down the the sticky note and twirled around to face her roommate, a guilty smile plastered across her face.

“H-hey Carm! Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now why are you back so early that’s a very nice shirt you’re wearing has the weather outside gotten any ni-”

She stops mid-nervous ramble when Carmilla holds out her hand expectantly. Laura meekly places the slip of paper in Carmilla’s hand and focuses her eyes firmly on her feet.

Carmilla slowly opens up the crinkled note to find the same handwriting she’d found plastered on her door the last week and a half.

“<3 Do you wanna Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.”

She turns her eyes back to Laura, who is still very intently staring at the ground, her face brilliantly red. Still smirking, she reaches out and grabs the other girl’s hand. Laura immediately looks up, confusion in her eyes. She opens her mouth to speak but before she manages to form any words Carmilla pulls her through the doorway, closing it quickly behind them.

Carmilla decided that she definitely wanted to try out an Australian kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay mostly this was written because I desperately needed a fic of Laura using that last pickup line. Thanks to the Carmillafeels chat for helping me with the rest of the pickup lines! One of these days I'll actually have some beta my stuff. Title may or may not have been borrowed from Taylor Swift. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
